The Paths We Take

This is just one of my random posts with some of thoughts, it doesn't really have anything to do with my current exchange other then kind of talking about my high school journey. I may also ramble a little and attempt to be inspirational so I apologize for that.

   In high school and pretty much my whole life people have been asking what I want to do when I grow up or what my plan for college is (you know the drill because everyone gets asked this) and when I answered I always had a straight answer that I was sure I was going to end up doing. In  early middle school I thought I wanted to pursue a career in dance and was looking at dance schools and settled on a school in North Carolina. Then in eighth grade I decided that I wanted to go into physical therapy and started to look into schools for that. After I found out I would need six-eight more years of schooling after high school and I wasn't for that so I decided to look elsewhere in the medical field and settled on radiology and or lab work my freshman year. Completely thinking that my mind was made up I started looking at all the body and medical classes I could take at my high school and learned what I could outside as well. My mind was set.

    The end of freshman year came and my advisor made us draw maps of what we think the rest of the educational life would be like and to make sure we put road blocks in there in case we changed our minds because we didn't know if a summer camp would change our minds on what we wanted to do or if we went on a exchange (and the like). My friends and I laughed at her friends because we thought it was funny that she was questioning our already made up plans and I knew for sure that I would NEVER go on an exchange that would change my mind about going into the medical field. Man, as much as I don't want to admit it, she was right... The summer after that was the one that I spent in Argentina and ended changing my mind about everything.

   I guess what I'm trying to say is that as much as we try to plan ahead, something can always pop up and cause us to change our minds. We may not expect it but it happens and we have no control over the situation that we are now in, we can only go with it, change our minds, and see where in life it takes us.

         And it's always okay to change your mind.

  I may say right now that I want to go into the international field and become a Foreign Service Officer or Ambassador but I could always change my mind to go back to the medical or even environmental field. What I'm trying to say is that it is okay to dream and that it is okay to plan your life ahead but roadblocks, hills, potholes, and flat tires can always bring us down or change our minds (or we could change them on a positive experience as well) and that is okay. If your life was perfectly planned out it would be so boring because you would know exactly what is going to happen, the joy of not knowing what us coming next will be gone, which would personally, in my opinion,  would make life bland. 

   So get out there. See where the world will take you and what it will bring. Take a chance, you just might find our passion. Try what you have been wanting to try nobody is here to stop you, only yourself. If you crash and fall, it's okay because that's life.It's your life so get out there and live it!  Remember that you can't change the past but you can always change your mind and path to do what you enjoy or what you believe you want to do. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters.

My Decision and Why... (Revised Edition)

   I've been giving it some thought and have reread my last post concerning my decision and have realized that there are actually a lot more reasons then that that affected my decision. Also, my reasoning has changed since then due to some very unexpected pop-up and roadblocks that caused me to question and then ultimately rethink my decision.

      First off, I never expected to get ExCEL Abroad and when I received my finalist notification I was in shock. It just seemed right to me because of the shock and overall excitement of receiving it. But I wondered if I really wanted it or was my feelings telling me to take it because I was surprised? Was it really the right decision for me? It didn't help that I was getting fixed signals from my friends and family for what to choose. One's would say Germany and talk down Lithuania while others would tell me that I was basically stupid not to take Lithuania. If someone would talk down Lithuania, I would instantly start defending it and though people didn't really talk Germany down, I'm sure I would have defended it too. Just because of that and of the reasons said in my previous decision post, I chose Lithuania.

   Then the really unexpected happened. The day was going to drop out CBYX I got an email from my host family from Germany. That really stopped me in my tracks and I had no idea what to do. I instantly started to rethink my decision. The family seemed so nice, sweet, and perfect but most of all very excited to host me. I felt torn in two, I wanted to go with my initial decision but I felt bad about Germany. My fellow exchange applicant friends had no advice for me because I don't think any of us knew what to do in this situation and really, it was my problem which ultimately would end in some sort of heartbreak whether it be giving up the program that I thought I would never get or giving up a family that wanted to host me and were nice.

  There was one other problem, at the time, which was about 45 days after I got notified for ExCEL Abroad, I had not heard from ExCEl Abroad AT ALL. Not only were my parents getting uneasy about that but I was as well. This made me question my decision even more and made the decision that much harder.

   Finally, after almost two months, I finally got some information about ExCEL Abroad and though it tore my heart, I finally let go of CBYX. I was very sad about giving it up and not being able to be a part of the CBYX family but outside all of the hurt I was feeling I felt as though I had made the decision that was right for me or at least that's what I think. (Shout-out to all my CBYX friends as they get ready to leave 13-14 days! Love you guys and I hope you have a wonderful year in Germany!).

   But one thing for sure was that I wasn't quite sure my about my reasoning about it. When asked I would kind of just say what my previous blog post said and or try to remember some of it at least. It wasn't until the other day that I think I finally realized my true reasoning. When I was first applying for all of these exchange programs, my fellow applicants and I would all try to figure out what, if we were offered all of the programs, program we would chose. I said that I was chose ExCEL Abroad  even over the Russian program that I initially really wanted. I understand that decisions change but after doing research, I really wanted to go to Lithuania almost more then any of the other countries offered by the other programs. Also, I thought being one of the first people to go would be amazing and would possibly make me stand out more in future job interviews and maybe even make me look better. It was a risk and I wanted to take it. It felt right. That doesn't at all mean that I'm not terrified or nervous about going but it's one of those why not's. I know that no matter what country I chose I would also question what the other country's experience would have been like but I felt more so with Lithuania, almost like I was throwing one of the biggest opportunities of my life away (not saying that Germany wasn't a huge opportunity, it just feels to me that in my situation that I would question myself more if I took Germany). I know that for the rest of my life I will be asking myself what Germany would have been like but that's what happens when you get offered more then one scholarship, country, or opportunity and it's the price you have to pay.

    Looking back on all those times my exchange applicant friends and I would wonder if given all 3-4 programs that we applied for and what we would choose, I'm so happy now that I only got accepted into two out of the four programs because my decision probably would have been a lot more harder. After going through my rollercoaster-of-decision-making, I am now speaking directly to future applicants: even if you only get one of the three or four programs that you apply for, don't feel bad! It doesn't mean anything and whatever program you got I am sure is what is best for you and you are going to have an amazing year. You will have a great time no matter what program you are on and or what country you're in, as long as you make it that way. You are in charge of your experience, if you think it's going to be crappy then it's going to crappy and if you think it's going to be great then it'll be great! Just be happy that you get to go on exchange because there are a lot of kids who wish they could be in your shoes.

 I am very grateful to of had these opportunities and the chance to make a decision. Though it was hard and did have a lot of bumps I'm glad that they happened because though it did make my decision harder to make it did help in some sort of way (if that makes any sense at all).  I can't wait to see where it takes me in and am beyond excited for departure to Lithuania in 34 days!

Graduation and June in General

I did it, I graduated high school! In three years too! I'm so happy to be done with high school and now am able to move on to the next chapter of my life. But first I have to get through summer. My summer has been eventful but not really. It started off with the all night Grad party at Bullwinkles which was okay. I would have had more fun if I hadn't of been having a major allergy attack all night long. About a week later I had to get my wisdom teeth out (which really sucked but wasn't as painful as I thought it would be at all) and then a week after that I had my 17th birthday! Now I'm just hanging out with my friends and helping harvest garlic. So June has actually been a pretty good month for me! What was also nice about this month was that I started to hear from ExCEL about details on my travel.

  I will be leaving on August 24th at about 8 am to catch a plane to Washington DC where I will meet with Emma, the other ExCEL Abroader, and we will then catch a plane to Austria. After Austria we will arrive in Vilnius, Lithuania on August  25th at some time in the afternoon. I'm getting excited but I'm also starting to get a little scared too. It'll come so quickly and I'm not freaking out yet over the fact that I only have about 55 days left in the States! For now I will have to start studying Lithuanian, get ready for my last county fair, and of course start the dreadful thing called packing. But everything will be fine.
 

  A couple of my friends who've received scholarships through other programs have already left for their year abroad. I'm excited for them and can't wait to hear more about their countries! And my other friends come home in a couple days from Thailand and Italy. That is both exciting (I've missed them and can't to see them) but I know how bittersweet it is for them and I wish them luck and hope they adjust quickly and nicely to life back here at their old homes. (Shoutout to Evan and Laney as I wish them luck in Thailand and another shoutout to Elena as she comes home from Italy and Erin as she comes home from Thailand). Both of these are the beginning and the end. The beginning of their new life both either in their host country or back home but it also either pauses or ends their life in their home or host country. It's bittersweet for everyone because in either place they are leaving loved ones but will be returning to old ones or making new ones. It's just a reminder of the never-ending exchange process and I'm so proud to of been a part of and am so blessed to be a part of it again. Here's to 55 days left! 

Ps: sorry for the scatter-minded blog, that's exactly how I feel right now! 

My Decision and Why

   I'm not joking this was probably the hardest decision I have made this year and maybe even in my life (so far). With that I should just cut to chase: after much thought and consideration I have decided to go with ExCEL Abroad to Lithuania! This program will be in its first year so I will get to be a pioneer for it. Though it's not as established (yet) as cbyx, I'm okay with it and I'm excited to be a part of its first year and watch it grow from there. It's a bit more pressure than cbyx, as I will basically be setting the tone for this program (along with a couple other students who I have yet to meet) which is super cool. Both programs would have been cool and I'm glad I was fortunate enough to make that decision.

  My parents made this decision completely up to me which was good but it wasn't helpful in helping me make a decision. They told me they weren't going to influence any country or program more though I feel that one of them was but indirectly and when she did I would defend Lithuania and want Lithuania more. All I could think about was Lithuania and how awesome it would be to be the first on the American side of the program! I even tried flipping a coin but got the same upset reaction if I didn't get Germany or if I didn't get Lithuania. I then decided to make a pro-con chart and then weigh my options from there looking at the programs, countries, language, and culture. I felt as though my heart was telling me Lithuania but my mind was telling me why not both?  I asked my fellow applicants what they would chose and why which was helpful. We discussed it and they even told me that they thought my heart was saying Lithuania (shout out and huge thanks to Megan, Jeremy, and Alexis who were the ones who discussed this with me). I decided to listen to my heart.
 

    So now the count down begins! I don't know exactly what day I will be leaving but I most likely will be leaving in August. I also have to get a health exam and sign some more papers and of course wait for more emails/information on the program! And of course learn some Lithuanian (and graduate high school). I'm super excited and sort of terrified but I can't wait to see where this takes me! 

    

Finding out about CBYX and ExCEL Abroad

As I said in my previous post, finding out about CBYX was probably one of the most stressful, terrifying, and hilarious things that has happened to me this year. To start off I had been told by a fellow applicant that we should be heading back on March 20th and my interviewers told me around that time as well as many blog posts said that they found out around this time too. So I thought they would be that weekend. That weekend also happened to be my FFA state convention and the first day of convention was March 20th, the day I thought notifications were coming out. That night, I was sitting in the first general  session of the Oregon FFA state convention when I felt my phone buzz. I was getting a phone call. I had a what I like to call a mini heart attack and started to freak out a little bit (okay a lot) right in the middle of session. Looking at my phone I saw it was from Oregon and thought, this may be it! Later, after session was over I found out that IT WASN'T CBYX AFTER ALL! Just a telemarketer... I wasn't very happy.

   All throughout state convention, whenever my phone would buzz I would have that mini heart attack and only look at my phone to end up being disappointed. I feel bad for everyone who called me that weekend as I got very mad when it wasn't CBYX and was just another "what time are you leaving" question. Finally state convention was over on March 23rd and I still didn't know if I had gotten in or not. After driving home I ended up hanging out up at a friend's house with two of my friends. I decided as we started to watch a movie to check my Facebook only to see that ASSE CBYX notifications had started. I started to freak out. I didn't have service up there so there was no way for me to know. More people started to find out and I was getting nervous. My friends just told me to calm down and that everything would be okay. They even offered to drive me into town but I didn't want them to waste gas. After some time we ended up going down to the sports court to plan for a FFA event for a hour or so. After heading back up to the house I felt my phone buzz. I looked at it to see that I had some service and a missed phone call with a voicemail that was received around the same time as the other CBYX finalists. But my stupid phone wouldn't load the voicemail! After talking it over with each other one of the friends left and the other one drove me down where I could get service. We got there and stopped the car and I put the voicemail on speaker... I got in! 

   I screamed when I heard the word that I had received it. Apparently so loud that I hurt my friends ears. I freaked out some more and then called my parents. They were proud of me. I was super excited! I had basically accepted the fact that was going to college next year but this was new news that I was so happy to hear but even more terrified to accept.
 

     But right when I was done waiting and that I was for sure going to Germany, I received a notification in April that I had been chosen as a semi finalist for the ExCEL Abroad scholarship! After getting a little excited about that and finding out that there was only one other semi that I knew of I started to get nervous again. We didn't think it was too competitive  as it was a new program and didn't have very many applications! The next week I had an interview which was a Skype interviewed and consisted of typical study abroad questions  and a lot of those questions were based on my time in Argentina. I was pretty confident as this wasn't my first trip around but I didn't expect anything too great. But I had it wait, some more. Not fun. If I had a dollar for every time I checked my email throughout this whole study abroad scholarship process I wouldn't need a scholarship to go abroad. Heck, college may have been already paid for with that money!
 

   Today, on April 23rd, I found out via email that I had been selected as a finalist for the ExCEL Abroad program to Lithuania. I found out during school too, right in the middle of English class whose teacher ended being the one who wrote my recommendation. Honestly, I was not expecting it and I expected at the very most that I would be an alternate. I would be a part of the first group of kids going to Lithuania on this scholarship which is super cool! I haven't quite decided which I'm going to chose but I have until Tuesday to decide. There will definitely be a blog post on that. I'm super excited for this process and where I chose I know it will be the right place to go and that I will have an amazing and wonderful experience! 

Since Argentina...

It has been quite some time since I last left the beautiful country of Argentina, about 7 months to be exact! In those months a lot has happened: I started school up again, started to apply to other exchange programs, applied to colleges, had my wonderful host sister come stay with me for her 3 month exchange, and got both rejected and accepted to all that I applied for. It's been a journey and I don't for one second believe that it's been that long or all of that has happened.

   As I believe I mentioned in an earlier post, Argentina and my exchange helped me realize that I wanted to go into the international field and to start planning with that in mind. With that I decided apply to scholarships through the State Department because I wanted to go on exchange again and this time for a year. But of course my school informed me that in order to go on exchange my senior year and not threaten my graduation, I would have to graduate this year with the class of 2015 instead of my class of 2016. I was all for it! So I started my then three applications to study abroad. These include at the time NSLI-Y, CBYX, and YES Abroad.
 

*below is a little overview of each program:

NSLI-Y the National Security Language Initiative for Youth is a State Department scholarship that offers high school age students the chance to study abroad for either the summer or a year and learn either Arabic, Russian, Persian, Chinese, Korean, or Turkish. CBYX or the Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange is a scholarship that focuses on trans-Atlantic relationships with the United States and Germany. The US send 250 kids to Germany to live with a host family, attend school, and learn the culture of Germany and Germany send 250 kids to the United States to do the same. The YES Abroad scholarship send students from the United States to significantly high Muslim populations to learn about the culture and fill in the gap between Muslim stereotypes and USA stereotypes through intercultural learning and understanding. They send 65 students to either Bosnia and Herzegovina, Macedonia, Turkey, Egypt (terminated), Tunisia (terminated), Ghana, Senegal (new this year), South Africa (terminated this coming year), Oman, Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines, Thailand, and India. 
 

   Besides applying to all these programs I also applied to 6 colleges including Utah State University, Oregon State University, Montana State University, University of British Columbia, University of Washington, and Arcadia University and got accepted to 5 and waitlisted for one (which was okay because I don't know why I applied there as I can't afford it and didn't really have any desire to go there). 
 

    After getting rejected by NSLI-Y Russian year program in December, I was quite upset as I really had a passion to learn Russian and go to Russia even before Argentina but it was okay. Over 3500 kids apply for the 625 positions so I was just happy that I tried. In late January I found out that I was a semi finalist for CBYX and would have an interview on February 28th. I was beyond happy and excited, especially after my initial rejection from NSLI-Y. Shout out to all the YES abroad applicants who kept me sane all throughout this process! I don't know what I would have done without them especially when I received bad news from the YES abroad program the day before my CBYX interview. I got rejected, again, and from the program that I really thought I would get into. I was super upset. But I took all that anger and being upset and went to my CBYX interview the next morning and rocked it! I felt really good afterwards and I guess it kind of helps that I have done this before and have interviewed students who decided to apply for Rotary this year. Oh! And a little but earlier in February, I found out about the ExCEL program which is a program that was literally just made in thing in late January 2015. (It send students from the US to Lithuania and I can't say too much as this program is brand new and the works are still getting worked out! But I should hear back from them in about a week or so, either late March or early April). 
 

   After being rejected from YES and even though I thought I rocked my interview, I lost all hope in spending next year abroad and started to prepare myself for two more rejections and told myself that I was most likely going to college. With that I decided that I would attend Arcadia University in Pennsylvania in the fall. Arcadia is the #1 ranked study abroad school in the USA and I had fallen in love with it's international program. I was also accepted to their First Year Study Abroad Experience, FYSAE, to London spring semester of 2016. My mom even bought tickets for us to go and visit it just to make sure I actually liked the school. I accepted the fact that that was where I was going to go and even considered withdrawing my CBYX and ExCEl applications because I thought I would just be rejected in the end and I didn't want to go through that again. But then, a surprise came my way. On March 23rd, I got a phone call from one of my interviewers  informing me that I was one of the lucky recipients of the CBYX scholarship and would be offered the opportunity to study in Germany as a 2015-2016 exchange student! I freaked out! (I will write another post about this as how I found out was quite comical and this post is already super long). I accepted. 
 

   So now I have to go through the process of deferring for the year from Arcadia (and pray that they will still give me my scholarships), officially graduate from high school, and prepare for my year in Germany. This blog will no longer just be my Argentina blog but my overall traveling blog for my exchange in Germany as well hopefully my study abroad programs in college and anything in between! (Hence the reason why I changed the name) I hope to blog more in Germany and to keep y'all informed on my life there and leading up to it! 

Being An Exchange Student

   Now that my exchange is just about done, I've realized how much I don't want to go home! Argentina has really become my home and my life in Newberg will never be the same, it's the price you have to pay for traveling, a little piece of your heart stays behind.

    I can tell you that if anyone had told me a year ago that I would be spending my summer in Argentina I would have told them that they were crazy! My family normally stays in the states when it comes to vacations. If they told me I was going to become an exchange student I'd tell them they were mental.  If someone told me I would be an exchange student to Argentina I would have asked them what drug they were on because that sure wasn't going to happen. But I'm glad it did.

  But being an exchange student hasn't been an easy ride, it is full of bumps and huge mountains and whatnot. You throw yourself into an unknown place, into a new family,  country,  school, language, culture,  and you have nothing. You have to start a new life  for yourself.  You go through things that people,  even your parents haven't been through. But it has been an incredible journey,  one full of crazy events, which I don't regret. Though I wish I tried harder on the language,  I don't regret much. Becoming an exchange student has been the best decision I have ever made in my life and I'm so grateful for the opportunity and happy it came along.

      Though my time in Argentina was short,  I really feel at home and wish to never leave,  I will definitely come back for sure to visit the amazing people I have met here.

   Exchange is no easy thing and it is definitely NO vacation. Vacations, you don't experience what I have experienced and they are definitely shorter. They don't affect you like exchange does. Vacations are trips, exchange is a second life so if anyone I know is reading this,  please don't call it a trip (trust me all exchange students hate that word) as it was much more than that.  Instead ask:
-How was your exchange?
-How was Argentina?
Or anyway that doesn't involve the word trip.

      Exchange also changes people in amazing ways. You basically have to grow up. And let me tell you that I am not the same person who left my country two and a half months ago. I have changed,  I have matured,  I have grown up.
        Upon my return home I will start school and have to go back to my boring old life, which I'm going to change for sure. On the bright side, Flor will be coming in December so that will be great! I hope I can help make her exchange as amazing as mine was. I also have decided that this is what I want to do,  international work, and will be applying for two or three State Department scholarships to go on a year long exchange my senior year to help prepare me for international work.  (I want to go to Russia, Taiwan, Turkey, or Germany I think). On top of that I will have to graduate this year (I only need 1.25 credits to graduate and will be taking 3 BYU online courses). This year will not be easy as I am taking three AP classes, am doubling up on my English classes, want to start two new languages, and to continue to do good at FFA competitions. I will continue to dance but not as much.  It will be hard but hopefully the award at the end will be worth it.

    Overall, being an exchange student has been the greatest decision of my life and if any of you reading this have even the slightest interest in it I strongly encourage you to look into it and go for it! Seriously.  Look into it. You won't regret it. Also if you have any questions or are interested on how, feel free to contact me! (Leave a comment if you don't have my info). It would be my honor  and I would be more than happy to try to help you get into an amazing,  life changing,  program to give you an experience like this.